I did not pass the CA bar. I can't even begin to explain how awful this is. It's not just the emotional crater of this kind of news. It's the hard, ugly reality: I can't practice without a license, I could lose my job at any moment (especially with Jerry Brown coming into office and promising to make budget cuts on the judiciary), I can't return to teaching because I just resigned from my spring classes when I accepted this clerkship, I don't know how to study any smarter than I already did, I don't know how to study 12 hours a day when working 12 hours a day, I can't move now or have a life because everything is on hold until I have a license.
