I can't sleep. The little dog has some sort of infection that blew up overnight. My parents got him to the vet yesterday and had him shot up with antibiotics and steroids, but the vet wants them to call with reports every day and if it doesn't improve quickly, the nasty thing will likely have to be cut out. Of course, the vet used big words like "granuloma" and "possible tumor," but I think the guy is an alarmest ever since the middle dog had a tiny cyst that turned out to be cancer. Tumors don't triple in size in 24 hours. Infected wounds on a boy dog with little common sense totally do.
While I was waiting for word from the vet, The Mother sent me an invitation and login info for a dating website called Rabbi Knows Best. Instantly, I was Oedipus wanting to gouge out his own eyes. Here's how the site describes itself:
"Rabbi Knows Best offers a panel of experts consisting of dozens of PhDs, Rabbis, Ministers, Clergy, and Psychologists from around the nation who will provide real-time, real-life guidance for any of our members seeking extra support and advice. We will help you with any aspect of relationship dynamics that you require, and address physical, emotional spiritual, and ethical issues with you directly over our unique telephone service."
Can you imagine me talking to any of these people? I'd be like, Dear Mr. Jew PhD, I like bacon and shrimp, and I believe that religion is a myth propagated by people who don't have the balls to maintain their own imaginary friends from childhood through adulthood. I'm looking for someone with excellent forearms and a 760 FICO. Love of bourbon, a plus; love of dogs, mandatory. Did I mention I need a straight boy who's willing to live in the gayborhood for the rest of his life?
Speaking of the gayborhood, the other thing keeping me up at night is the house/condo hunt. At this point, I think I've ruled out a house, if only because I'm not willing to move to Echo Park or Culver City or Sherman Oaks to afford one. So it's going to be a condo. And since I'm going to be settling on a condo, the thing I'm no longer willing to settle on is location. I'm literally now considering only properties within about a half of a square mile. It's the loveliest half of a square mile in the entire universe, and goddamn it I'm going to stay for a while. I haven't seen anything that's blown me away, so I'm leaning toward something on the lower end of my price range that will leave me able to gut the place and remodel it the way I like. I have already lost entire evenings to searching through catalogues for flooring, sinks, tubs, counters, cabinets, etc. That part is actually super fun, but I have to remember that my choices could be limited by condo rules. For instance, I'd love to put hardwood floors through the living and bedroom spaces, but lay down concrete in the kitchen and bathrooms. If I can't do concrete, I could probably go with a wide slate tile, but the wood is non-negotiable. I ain't spending my entire life savings to get a nondescript condo that's barely different from my current carpeted apartment.
2 comments:
I'll call you later today--I need a Stanley update! And a condo update!
(And depending on what floor it is on, you may not be able to pour concrete, but they make concrete countertops, so, pretty much by definition, you could buy large slabs and a good mason could seam them together so it looks poured. Of course, this won't work if you want colored concrete--the colors are batched and the seams would show, I think, but I am SO glad you've discovered the pleasures of renovation porn!
The little dog's infection is totally nasty. But I stuck him in the tub yesterday, cleaned it out with warm water and peroxide, and then squeezed and drained the thing while he cried. Poor puppy. But the draining seems to have done a world of good. He looked much more like himself this morning and let me touch and clean and dress the wound without any crying or biting. As long as the granuloma doesn't blow up again (i.e., the infection raises new hell), I think this might heal on its own now that it's been drained. I'm really trying to avoid putting him through surgery, but we'll see.
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